When I was a teacher, I led the junior school provision. My boss… let’s call her Kam (not her real name)… led the infant school provision.
Both of us had large teams of teaching assistants working with us. Some teaching assistants (TAs) worked with her permanently. Some worked with me permanently. Some did a bit of both: Swapping back-and-forth throughout the day or the week depending on timetable and need.
We changed around the setup pretty frequently, probably too frequently, but it was often needed. Sometimes, a particular relationship between an adult and a child was or wasn’t working and we needed to change things up. Or sometimes, if there was a child who was having a particularly hard time, we might need extra support. Or if we had trips and things to do, we’d move around adults to cover it.
We worked with some particularly challenging behaviour sometimes, so it was sometimes a tough environment. To do well in it, you needed to be a relentlessly positive and energetic person, and everyone I worked with was fantastic.
That being said, it could get stressful and serious. If someone made a mistake, it could mean that someone gets hurt. And sometimes, different team members blamed each other.
In a stressful high intensity environment, fingers can be pointed, patiences can run out, arguments can happen, and people can fall out.
Me and Kam talked a lot, like really really a lot. At the end of every day, after all the children and TAs went home, we’d basically tell each other everything, including how both our teams were getting on.
I learnt A LOT about leading a team from Kam. She was really tuned into everything and everyone, including me, and somehow maintained good relationships with ALL OF US.
Importantly, Kam knew how important it was to maintain good energy and relationships on the team. It was part of the job.
Kam’s approach was to tackle things head on (in true rugby player style). She’d monitor things from up close, and then when the moment’s right, she’ll grab a moment with someone and then chat it all through and listen listen listen until all was well. If there were two TAs upset with each other, she’d get them both in a room and no one would leave until it was resolved.
Bear in mind, the TAs are often the ones on the very front line, forming the closest relationships with the children, getting the majority of their admiration (and also their anger, at times). Being a teaching assistant is not any lesser or greater than being a teacher: It’s a different role with a different set of responsibilities. I’ve been both at different times of life and there are elements of both I like but I— I’m getting distracted.
I developed a very different approach to Kam. In my classroom, there was no drama, end of story. I half-joked to the TAs that it was a “drama free zone”. I don’t mind if we all hate each others’ guts on the outside: When we walk in the door, we do our job: We do the best for the class. If people started telling me X or Y bad story about another TA, I’d say that’s fine and all: You need to speak to Kam about it, but when you’re in my classroom, we work together.
Of course, me and Kam were both in kahoots on this. We knew there was a need for both styles. Sometimes you need to let it all out and TALK. Sometimes you need to [just] get on with it and let the jam do the talking.
Every day, we’d discuss how to place people best. Mrs X and Mr Y have been getting on each others’ nerves a bit, should we split them up for a bit? Miss A has been complaining about Mx B a bit, could she go in your room, Lu? I think we need to address the tension between Mr C and Ms D: I’ll have them down with me and we’ll chat it out.
One of the pleasantly surprising learnings I experienced was seeing how two people who hated each others’ bones could work exceptionally well together in the same room if arguing was off-the-table. And in fact, cooperating together on a shared struggle is one of the world’s best methods for creating peace.
Two people who can’t stop fighting… walk into a room… and work together in complete harmony… then leave the room and start fighting again… but if you repeat this day after day, the fighting reduces and reduces… and the pair form an even stronger bond.
Yes, that’s right. As we all know: When there’s a crisis, three things can happen
Of course… by turning this all into an anecdote-style blog post, I’ve lost all sense of nuance and subtlety. It’s not as simple as I’ve written it out here.
But some things stick with me:
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