it sometimes surprises people when i tell them that my favourite way of expressing myself is editing videos. like not writing blog posts, not giving talks, not live coding making lots of noise, but dragging around video clips on my computer screen. i can hardly believe it too, it’s possibly the only fiddly thing i enjoy
if i could go back in time? i don’t know, i don’t think I’d go to school to learn about [—] it would leave me with so much more to unlearn. but maybe. i don’t know. i can’t do that now. here i am
should i join a club? should i start one? should i do a course? probably
you’d think we were / we ought to be in film making utopia / paradise. it’s easier than ever to make and edit a film. everyone has a world class camera in their pocket. everyone has a place to publish. editing software is free. full to the brim with tutorials. anything you’d ever need. in London at least.
people are really skeptical of film making.
“why do you wanna make a film of that?”
can’t you just let it exist / happen?
you don’t need to ruin it by go turning it into a film.
live in the moment.
stop filming.
be present.
put the camera away.
what, so you wanna get internet famous?
you wanna get clout for this?
you wanna show off?
you wanna get big on youtube?
instagram tiktok?
what a way to spoil the moment.
this experience
is all just a ploy for content creation to you.
is all just a pry for attention to you.
is this is that all this is to you?
is that all i am?
i don’t think— most artforms aren’t viewed as cynically as film making. the internet has rotted people’s perceptions of it. maybe back in the day if you pulled out a camera people would think differently. but i don’t know, i wasn’t alive then.
there’s a stubborn part of me that wants to make even more films despite and because of the the cynicism around it. like maybe i could switch cameras: use my camera that looks professional and arty, not vloggy. but the thing is, my crappy vloggy camera is much easier to use than my professional arty one. but when i use it there’s a very different vibe. my plan is to make it very silly by like attaching ribbons and maybe eyes to it, to make it way more fun
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