I tried to write about something and i failed. I’m binning this work-in-progress draft and I’ll try to approach the topic from a different angle. It’s here if you want to read it though.


Normal gender feelings (binned version)

Some people think that “normal” is a bad word and I don’t think it is.




Gender feelings

What is a gender feeling?

A gender feeling is how you feel about your—

We all have gender feelings.

We all “feel” our gender in the same way that we “feel” how hungry we are or how warm or cold we are.


Just like our hunger and temperature feelings, we often don’t notice our gender feelings unless—

A feeling may not bubble to the surface or grab our attention unless—

When we’re hungry, it can feel hard to think about anything other than how much we want to eat. When we’re too hot or too cold, it can stop us from doing anything else, unless—

When we’re at a “normal” temperature, we don’t feel much at all— Or rather, we do feel something and what we feel is “normal”.

When we’re at a “normal” level of hunger, we might not notice or think about our hunger feelings at all. We just feel normal.

It goes without saying that every human on earth should be entitled to normal hunger and temperature feelings.




Gender feelings are the same. It’s hard to notice them unless something is wrong. Our body only tells us something if something isn’t right / doesn’t feel right.

Yes, gender is something that we can feel, no different to a pang in our stomach or a breeze on our hand. Though it’s not always easy to notice.



Feelings are hard

It’s often hard to figure out what our feelings mean. Interpreting our feelings can be hard.

When we’re young, we have to piece together all the different feelings we’re feeling, because they’re all new to us.

As small children, excitement and anger can feel like the same thing. Or it can be hard to tell the difference between positive and negative attention. Or anxiety can feel like a stomach ache if we don’t know what it is.

As we grow up, we get more and more used to our feelings and we get more and more used to identifying them. But sadly, many adults fail to do this. Sometimes, the people in the highest positions of power have the least emotional intelligence of all.




Some feelings are talked about a lot, like happiness and sadness, so it’s relatively easy to spot them in ourselves when we feel them.

Some feelings are talked about much less, like depression and mania, so it can be hard to match them up with what we feel / identify them in our feelings.

Depression, for example, is a taboo topic, so we may not even be aware that it’s a thing that could happen to us.

We might think that whatever we’re feeling is a normal thing for us to feel, or that we deserve it, or it’s just because we’re tired, or whatever. We may fail to identify the feeling of depression that we hold inside.

“Perhaps everyone feels like this.”

“Perhaps I’m struggling the same as everyone else.”

“Perhaps I should just put up with it / tolerate it like everyone else does.”




It is not— It should not be normal to feel depressed. We should not allow our world to be a world where depression is a normal feeling.

If you, dear reader, experience depression, then I want you to know that you don’t deserve to feel that way. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or what you’re like or who you are. I don’t think you deserve to feel that way.




Normal gender feelings

The vast majority of people are very extremely content with their gender. They experience normal gender feelings.

These are all— If you are described— If that sounds—

Fortunately, I experience normal gender feelings everyday.



Imagine if you woke up as a different gender. And you passed fully as that gender. And everyone thought you were that new gender. And in fact, everyone and the world acts as if you were always that gender.

The normal gender feeling response to this question would be:

“No, I would not like that.”

or “I would want to change back.”


A not-normal gender feeling response would be:

“I wouldn’t mind it.”

or “That sounds fun.”

or “That sounds nice.”

or “I would tolerate it.”

or “That’s exciting.”



Very few people have not-normal gender feelings. But some do.

I had not-normal gender feelings for most of my— For most of my life, I had not-normal gender feelings, but it turns out you can just get rid of them by doing this one weird trick.


Normal gender feelings

It goes without saying that every human on earth should be entitled to normal gender feelings.

If you, dear reader, experience not-normal gender feelings, then I want you to know that you don’t deserve to feel that way. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or what you’re like or who you are. I don’t think you deserve to feel that way.




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